Flipping thru my file today in sch, and saw my grandpa's death cert and I started tearing. I miss him, I definitely do.

On a lighter note, I've been a happy girl in school today (except for the crying part). Saw LiSze and I'm very sure she's tired and misses ahgong as much as I do. Oh wells, I don't knw why but I just felt happy and had fun with my classmates. Though it's a Mon that I dread like mad cos it's my longest day with two Geog periods and all, I felt rather light today. Fine, I don't mean literally. And I'm certainly glad that Monday's over.

Trng was ok lah, Did some shooting from all the 5angles, then onto the track and Zh told us not to anticipate much. So we just ran/slowrun round the track, from the outermost lane, and moving inwards to the inner lanes after every round. Then out to the outer ones agn. Ran lik 12rounds arnd the track I think? or more or whtevr! But I felt, or rather, we felt so acccomplished today cos it's more than 5km and wells, it wasn't tiring but more of the strain in my calf muscles. Some pumpings/situps/leg raises. Cool down and off to hawker centre to have dessert with Ruby, HuiSan, JunYi, GuanJie and Justin! MY RED RUBY (: then home (:
Wanted to do my chem work but I'm really tired haha.

It has been a long way for my grandfather. A long time that he managed to struggle thru, and finally, he managed to let go and leave peacefully. Yes, we missed him, sooo much, but I guess we also have to learn to let go, and keep whatever sadness within us, deep in our hearts. Instead, we shld feel happy that he's no longer suffering and that he's in gd health now and forever. It's only when we learn to let go that then he'll be able to leave peacefully.

And I realised, life is all abt learning how to adapt. Things/people come and go in life. When they come, we learn to adapt to them. When they go, we learn to let go of them. He has finally learnt to let go of everything and leave. So isn't it time for us to learn to let go too? Life is all abt that, and learning how to let go of things that are not meant to be. Things that are meant to be, they will be. Things that are not, it's best that we let go and start afresh, learning how to get over them.

I'm still in the process of learning, and in this whole process, I see a great growth of maturity in me. We live on memories, and thoughts of the future. What's happened today became history and all we can do is to anticipate what's gna happen tmr. Since we live on memories cos that's what everyone has/will, then why choose the sad/unhappy ones when you can choose the happy ones? Along the same line, why choose to be sad when you can choose to be happy? And I hereby declare that I choose to keep the gd memories and throw away/forget the bad ones. Cos I knw I wna be happy, and I wna pursue my own happiness. I'm letting go of what I think I shld. And finally, I knw that I've made the right decision this time round.FINALLY ((:

Yes, I've been trying to express whatever I can say with words on my blog. However, words are limited. There are too much feelings within me that are unexpressed, cos they are indescribable with words. Childhood memories kept coming back to me, pouring into my mind constantly. Flashbacks abt the past when we were all so young and pampered. There are just so many things that I just can't seemed to describe with words, in fact, too many to count. But I'm sure people in the family knows what I'm trying to say, esp. cousins of my age, we've been thru the same stage, I'm sure you all knw what I'm talking abt. It's gna be too hard to express myself clearly and fluently with words. That's the best I can do, and the rest shall be kept within all of us. Sometimes, it's also better that things are left unsaid cos I feel that it brings out the true meaning of what is to be conveyed.
(and as I'm typing this paragraph, I see a moth flying in my hse, from the kitchen then arnd, then towards me and finally under the comp table and then it disappeared. I don't see it anymore.)

I know he's watching over us. And I knw he can hear us, our cries and our prayers and our laughters.I knw it, we all knw it (:
( and I see the moth agn, in the kitchen, reluctant to fly out of our unit, and then it disappeared in my kitchen, I dno where it is now. I knw, you knw, we all knw what it is.)

AND J just told me she's leaving for studies in AUST soon! OMG, and she said she won't be coming back to Singapore that often anymore! ):
Idiot la she just told me today and I'm feeling so sad cos I'm gna have one gd friend less to share my probs with anymore. So pls J! Come online more often ok! You're most probably gna leave end of this month which means you're gna miss my birthday ))))):
A past that we shared and we'll nv forget, now that we became gd friends, I knw, I'm gna miss you so much when you aren't arnd. And the book that you wrote to me in the past? I kept it safely, reading it occasionally, serving as a reminder to nv make such hurting mistakes agn.
Pls meet up soon, and inform me whenever you come back to Singapore so that we can meet up.
You are a great friend, and I really appreciated it, now that you're leaving soon, it makes me sad. And I think I'll cry. I love you, my dearest friend, my dearest J (: